What's brown and sticky?

Answers the the meme of doom are now available. If you haven't played the meme of doom, go to the last post and play it now. If you disagree with
 your comment or didn't understand it and would much have preferred to be a different comment, feel free to argue with me and I'll explain my very dodgy reasoning. If you think your comment totally ROCKS, say that too. 
*Disclaimer: refunds will only be made at thte discretion of the manager. None of the comments below are legally binding.*

Melbourne Cup tommorow *cheers*. In the tradition of bad punters evreywhere, I will now post my uninformed trifecta on lj.

It's everyones' favourite time of the year- the IgNobel Prizes have recently been announced.
http://www.improb.com/ig/ig-pastwinners.html#ig2006

My favourite is the peace prize, which went to "Howard Stapleton of Merthyr Tydfil, Wales, for inventing an electromechanical teenager repellant -- a device that makes annoying noise designed to be audible to teenagers but not to adults; and for later using that same technology to make telephone ringtones that are audible to teenagers but not to their teachers."

And I really didn't need to know about the medicine winners, "Francis M. Fesmire of the University of Tennessee College of Medicine, for his medical case report "Termination of Intractable Hiccups with Digital Rectal Massage"; and Majed Odeh, Harry Bassan, and Arie Oliven of Bnai Zion Medical Center, Haifa, Israel, for their subsequent medical case report also titled "Termination of Intractable Hiccups with Digital Rectal Massage."

For all the Undergraduate students, they've finally caught on that we are "deliberately increasing the complexity of their vocabulary so as to give the impression of intelligence." Daniel Oppenheimer of Princeton University won the Literature Prize for his report "Consequences of Erudite Vernacular Utilized Irrespective of Necessity: Problems with Using Long Words Needlessly."

Objective: To determine the overall rate of loss of workplace teaspoons and whether attrition and displacement are correlated with the relative value of the teaspoons or type of tearoom.

http://bmj.bmjjournals.com/cgi/content/full/331/7531/1498

3. Visit the website

At http://www.scienceweek.info.au/ Find out all the exiting things happening in your part of the world and take part in the National Memory Test. (I did very badly in it. I bet no one saw that coming.)

4. Build a nuclear reactor

With materials you can easily access. If a boy scout could do it, so can you!

http://www.abc.net.au/science/k2/moments/s595641.htm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Hahn

5. Make Ice Cream

Mix 1/2 cup milk, 1tbsp sugar and a few drpos of vanilla flavouring in a plastic lunch bag. Tie the bag shut.

Get some ice. Put it in a bowl and sprinkle about 1/2 a cup of ice on it. Now stick your milkbag on the saltice and wait for it to freeze! Mash it around every now and then so it has a nice consistance.

Eat! (mmm, ice cream.) If you like, you can add milo and make it chocolate.

Science Fact of the Day

Frogs can only see things that are moving. This was the fact the inspired the scene in Jurassic Park when the hardcore guy goes "Don't move! He can't see us if we stay still."

This is very wrong. Firstly, dinosaurs aren't frogs. Secondly, when frogs move, everything else moves in relation to them, so they can see while they are moving.

Best Science Cartoon

Also on dinosaurs. That's 'cus their COOL.

http://www.parryandcarney.com/comic/1.html

Free! Free! Free! This is my free dance- laladadadadalala...notice there are no exams in the free dance. Please keep it that way.

But now I'm free I'm heading off to the snow, so here is some entertainment to keep you busy while I'm gone (I know you miss me :P)

Little Timmy was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Tim?" "My goldfish died," replied Timmy tearfully, "and I've just buried him." The neighbor was concerned. "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" Little Timmy patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because he's inside your cat."

and

An old lady is rocking away the last of her days on her front porch, reflecting on her long life, when--all of a sudden--a fairy godmother appears in front of her and informs her that she will be granted three wishes.

"Well, now," says the old lady, "I guess I would like to be really rich."

*** POOF *** her rocking chair turns to solid gold.

"And, gee, I guess I wouldn`t mind being a young, beautiful princess."

*** POOF *** she turns into a beautiful young woman.

"Your third wish?" asks the fairy godmother.

Just then the old woman`s cat wanders across the porch in front of them.

Dear Voters,

You may or may not know that I intend to become the Australian Prime Minister. Up until now this has been kept fairly hush-hush, but on the advice of my political councilors I intend to start advertising my policies. So, for my first platform-

The Cake Law
Obviously, at first it won't be a law. We'll do a number of regional trials before we try to work it into the constitution.
On a certain day of the week (opinion surveys suggest Monday) all citizens will be required to eat cake.
Why? This will give a much needed boost to the pastry industry, providing jobs and stabilising the economy. It will also stimulate endorphins, increasing our GNH (Gross National Happiness).
Notes:
'Cake' can be interpreted by individuals however they wish- fish cakes, potato cakes, rice cakes etc. are all permissable (if boring). Any quantity of cake consumption is allowed, although obviously we encourage people to stay within the bounds of healty eating.
We may provide a cake subsidy for low-income earners.
Although to begin with the cake law will not be enforced, it is considered that 'cake enforcers' would offer further employment oppurtunities. Punishment for flouting the law may include having to eat extra cake rations, cooking cakes for homeless people and having cream pies applied to the facial region. More public consultation will be undertaken before any of these measures are instituted.

As a firm believer in open government I invite you, the lj community, to ask questions or make submissions of possible by-laws, preferred cake days, etc. 
For our latest polls we also seek the following information:
1. Does the Cake Law encourage you to vote for me in the next election?
2. If I was to introduce a policy of providing grants to develop silly walks, would you support it?
3. What other policies/ ideologies do you look for in a political party?

Thanking you in advance for your time,
The furture Prime Minister of Australia

ps. Pinky: Gee, Brain, what are we going to do tonight?
Brain: The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world!